Just For Us and Exclusion

At the mall Saturday getting Jade's glasses, I mentioned I had not blogged and she said "mom, have you seen that T shirt that says more people have read this t-shirt than read your blog" I laughed because it is probably so true!, so get over yourselves (you know who you are) and consider your real audience. You, your family and maybe some of your true friends, everyone else is just, well, snooping. But don't stop blogging, like I did for a while, because it's great stuff for you to read later. When I write my blogs I am either venting or capturing memories, that's it, I am always surprized to get such sweet comments from my blog buddies because I never expect anyone to "get" what I am writing about. My blog is just for us, me, my family, and my good friends, Heidi, Nicole, Christie and a few others.

Ok, here I am venting. There is nothing I detest more than cliques and exclusion. I don't get it, I have never been able to do it. I am popular at Jade's school and in our neighborhood and I think the more the merrier. When I see other's purposely leave others out I am hurt, even if it is not me. I just do not get the clique thing or anyone in one who wants to include someone and does not dare stand up to the others. Never had a problem with this, never will. And watch out if you leave me out because I will call you out. It is very un-cool ladies, petty, a sign of inferior intelligence, rude, mean, unchristian, shallow, unbecoming, oh and I better not hear any of my family or friends say what I heard a five year old say today (echoing an adult), "They are just too odd" newsflash, we are all odd in some way or another so get out that mormon ad catalog and order the one about including others because you are hurting someone and that makes you the one who will be left out in the cold. And when you are, call me, I would love to include you in whatever I have going on with friends, neighbors, the ward or the school. You will learn it is much more rewarding and fun this way. Peace

Too busy to blog, Monsters and Aliens and Twins-oh my, Jade's school "Peace Academy", Jade's Garden, Twin Falls, My baby is growing up, Avon

I couldn't possibly begin to update everything in the title but I had to at least list it so I did not forget. I realize I need some extra blogs one for my journey through this illness and different but surprizingly satisfying new life, one to document Jade's Journey into becoming a young lady, and I will have to respect her and not blog about anything she considers private (almost everything) so it may be only for she and I, one for Avon-The Company For Women that has been a this girly-girl's perfect outlet, and I need a place to vent- a blog of stuff that has to go, including stuff I do, the list is getting longer everyday, and humorous, but it should also include the stuff I think is great. Yes, I know this is a huge, run-on sentence and I may not even fix it. I am sure I just made my blogging buddies laugh ( she can't even keep up with one blog) I say, this stuff is too good to miss recording. I will find a way at least to document my daughter's transitional state and my fight against lung fibrosis in addition to our family life because it is all wizzing by at the speed of light and someday I want to relive it. I am cherishing moments, so much so that mundane tasks have become very difficult to perform, until I realized that if I do not do them, they could ruin the moments. Things like getting even better organized, making sure we have a clean comfortable home to have these moments in, keeping the pantry stocked so I can bake anything on a moments notice for Jade and her crew, exercising so I can have energy and live to see these moments, making sure the cell is charged, my Olympus is in my purse and charged and keeping a check on my appearance and what I say so the burgeoning princess will not be mortified at this delicate stage. She rarely complains. This is tough for a creative, expressive, zany gal like me. I hope I can do it with some help and have time to have some fun with my interests which by the way your kids and husband need to see you having your own life, it makes them secure, proud, because your happy, not a domestic slave. So, this home is under new management, I am getting some outside help, everyone is going to pitch in like usual, I am going to be a electronic organizer and list guru, and put my will of steel and ability to discipline to better use, there is finally going to be a system for everything, and everything in its place, and a specific day I do things, unless of course I need to drop everything to take every kid in the neighborhood to the latest kid flick or park because that is why they are all here, hanging out, from age 2 to age to age 15! But it doesn't happen everyday for heaven's sake and I have lost that urge to run, I am home mostly, and it is great. I just want to have fun AND pass out exhausted on a made bed every day, in fresh jams because I spent a few quiet moments in the morning making the stupid thing and remembering to ask Dar to through in a load, I do not want to have ten days go by and think I have not been at our darling elementary, helping Jade's darling teacher, being greeted by some of our little fans. I just love it when I hear, Hi Jade's mom or even better, hi Jude. So, all you naturally organized mom' send me your tips, I know about fly lady, I want YOUR tips

Sweet "17 Anniversary, Bunko Photo's, Avon, and Oh ya, I hate spectrum (gifted) today!

I really need to blog daily, too much stuff happens in a day! Wednesday was our seventeenth wedding anniversary, (here are the bunko photo's, thanks Melissa, so much fun!) We got married on a Wednesday(good, special day, Tuesday's not so good for us) we are going to Tepanyaki (sp?) this weekend and Dar was so sweet. He got me a miche bag, the kind you can change the outside, a beautiful pendant, Godiva chocolate, and the classic book " The Four Feather's" oops should have underlined that, and rented the movie too. This is why, I was watching this feast for smart girls one night, with Heath Ledger, no doubt, I had tried to watch it before but just did not get into it. It was all about finding courage and facing the impossible, something I am doing right now, yep, my doctor's want me to check in with transplant while I am strong but between you and me, it is not the time, not yet. God has another plan for me yet. Anyway, I was riveted at 2 a.m. because I can't sleep,could you? And all of a sudden the DVR stopped, end of recording, something else took over and started taping. I mildly complained the next morning kind of groggily and mentioned that I may read the book before I finish the movie, helped Dar get Jade off to school, and climbed with Jade's blankie back into bed and went right to sleep, thankfully, I finally got some rest. So, when he led me into the front room to present his gifts like a knight, that's really what he reminded me of, I was so touched that he had paid attention (of course he did, heck ya I'm the flipping princess) to my groggy account of what I had seen of four feathers on my HD in HD that he also bought for me when I got sick, and that me, the book and film buff hadn't been so captivated in such a long time. He heard me, he listened, he is a prince and I recommend it but you probably won't be as enamored as I was until you face the bigggest monster there is, fear itsself. Guess who else loved it, my little genius Jade, we watched the second half together tonight. There is a great line about the precious memories of the time we fight side by side, that's Dar and Jade and I, in this desert, fighting side by side, making precious memories.

Avon Calling!

Jade got this idea I should sell avon because we love certain products and had no one to buy from. I thought about it for a while, now I am doing it. Purely fun and shopping and saving money, don't we need lipstick in our year supply? Anyway, it has been a lot of fun and I am determined to use it to do something nice for my family, friends and Jade's teacher's (all of them) that work so hard by giving great discounts, my discounts to be precise so when you get the catalog remember the stuff with a diamond before it, shoes, bags, gifts we do not get a discount but everything else, ya baby, if you are a girly girl or love deals on stuff we have to have like shampoo, some makeup, moisturizer, gifts, the twenty minute mini vacation the catalog provides, then Jude the new AVON girl is your new best friend. visit my website under 84040 zip code on Avon's site, call me if you want salon grade shampoo for $2 NOW, skin so soft for $2, princess lip balm or cars lip balm, tinker bell too .34 cents with my discount or a lipstick for $3 ultra color rich spf 15 and lip conditioning. This is even better than when I played wedding consultant and helped single mom's outfit their brides in 99 dollar dresses by accessorising (one mom cried and hugged me) because this is for us haven't been brides in a while, too. I get to play with makeup, Heee Heee Heee, my first shipment arrives tomorrow! Poor Heidi, first you have to support me during chemo, then bunko, now AVON, you were cute letting me pick products for you yesterday, what a good friend.

Speaking of Heid being a good friend she came to the rescue like a fairy godmother, how she puts up with me I will never know, again today while I sulked and cried on the sofa not answering her calls chanting, I hate Spectrum! I hate Spectrum! I really hate it today! My heart got broken today, people can be so cruel, I am not talking about kids, and I think that happens so our friends can cheer us up. We went out to dinner all of us except Brent, he was in SF, my city, and Heidi made Dar laugh about how I tried to get her to sell AVON, and Garrett and I took pics of everyone. Heid showed me her photo's from her class at Weber (Beautiful) , defended me to Jade, hugged me and told me I was right and when she is a teacher she will remember this! My Nan, mom in law, recent former principal thought it was an outrage the way the news was delivered (COLD), nevermind, I do not want to talk about it to protect the innocent, namely Jade. I am exhausted now, I think I will blog more often, it's 2:42 a.m. told ya I couldn't sleep! Maybe I will go on LDS.ORG and volunteer, doing families group records, it's pretty easy, try it today, or look up your family stuff, you don't have to be LDS. Bye

My Awesome Girl, ya Bunco was great but this was better!

Jade saved the day for my Bunco party! I was having a "oh my gosh I am seriously ill day," because of stabbing lung pain after major home projects for a couple weeks and I felt awful. Jade saw the tears behind my sunglasses when I picked her up from school. She said don't worry mama, I will help you. She herself was hungry and battling a cold yet thinking of me. She had gone snowboarding (was Not going to tell her no) after she made it to school all week, the night before, YET, she cleaned, she cooked, she called her friend to help fill in for two moms who did not make it and she won the first bunco. She was even gracious when she got the lamest prize I had, what a kid, I love this kid, she is sooo great. She even welcomed my guests as I was trying to get ready at the last minute. We had a great time, and a great turnout. Melissa took pics, the house looked beautiful, Heidi made it despite her crazy schedule, I was touched, and everyone determined to be there, made it. Again, I was so touched, my girlfriends are the best! The pics will come soon, everyone loved the chicken pasta salad,yep, Jade made it, no lie, and everyone loved the game and the prizes. Three of us did not get a prize so I wish I had something for everyone, sorry Julie and Janet's friend, sorry me, I was terrible. So tired, next time I will do a few more things ahead of time (like the shopping) I could not stop taking an extra roll but we all laughed big! I swear I only took tylenol for the pain. We missed Janene a lot, she wanted to come and her baby was so sick, husband at a campout. Do not worry Janene you and I will have even more fun next time. Kristi, you are so awesome for making it (early, sorry) after helping your very sick friend all week. I love ya girl. We had a handbag exchange, we were all happy. Nic I was determined to do this update for you we missed you too, you are right, I need to post often! Someday, I won't remember what I went through to pull this off, it is soooo much more difficult than it used to be, but I will remember Jade racing around target trying to find dice, a bell, spices for the chicken and lime sherbet not to mention new bath rugs(oh ya, they were necassary) while while i slowly rode behind on my dorky target scooter watching her tear back and forth between the isles. I will never forget how you told me yesterday how you were proud of ME for doing the bunco thing, as we cuddled up and played my sims kingdom for hours and read the back jackets of the books with your arm around me that you had picked up at the library during a wii break yesterday with your daddy. Oh Jade, my baby, I hate having to be the mom first, the bad guy, cuz when you were born that windy night just six minutes after Thanksgiving Day 1997 began my best gal pal ever was placed in my arms while I cried tears of joy, my greatest blessing on Thanksgiving Day, the best one in heaven that night, sent to to me, goofy, lost, little ol me, enough fun and challenge and pride and personality and beauty and grace to make us a BIG family. And as I was tucking you in my exhausted girl, Friday night, I realized God would not bless me with you if he was punishing me with this horrible illness, he will not let us be separated without A Lot of comfort (and a lot of mommas for you, my gal pals) and promise for our eternal relationship along with Autumn your sister, who I will have waiting for me, to say, it's ok mama, I will distract you, we will be with Jade and Dad and Jade's husband and babies before you know it, and all our tears will be wiped away forever. And us three girls will laugh together endlessly about that day at Target , and how earlier that day everything seemed so temporary for us. That will seem really funny... it will all be ok. I love you forever, Jade, Momma

A Year of Good News! Come back to hear some more

Hello blogging buddies, I am back! Sort of. I am shopping for a new laptop so it may be slow going. We had a great time in Disneyland for Christmas, my husband is happier and it is the ski, snowboard season and I am going to get back on the sticks with o2 in a very cool backpack. I have joined facebook and cannot believe all my old friends that have sought me out. It is very touching. I decided my blogs will have a theme. It's called a year of good news. I have about two weeks of things to tell ya all but I will work them in with each blog going forward. For example, my good news from two days ago was a cute girl named Aubrey at Old Navy. I worked hard to get some great deals for my family and sub for santa project 09 and then my walet was missing. She said, don't worry no one has ever had anything stolen. She was a polite sweet teenager who went and searched the store for me. It had slipped in between the seats of my car. I got 300 dollars worth of stuff for $40 dollars. That is the other good news. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to gaze at the stars with Jade and our bud Sawyer on the way back from snowboarding. They were stunning near Eden. We had fun. Today's good news is amazing, I spoke with todays Oprah skype guest who is hosting an inaugural ball for people like me who have been through a lot in the last few years. Yes, this really happened. Anyway, His daughter asked for my address so you never know. Thanks Heid for taking Jade to Salt Lake, Dar and I are sitting here eating chinese out of boxes. Well, a couple bites. We are losing weight, yay! Well hope you are all well and had a good Christmas! Ours was amazing. Love, Jude