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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Love Your Family? Fix Dinner, an overdo Valentine's Blog

Chuckle, Chuckle, Chuckle. What I am about to say is tongue in cheek but actually quite true. I cannot tell you how many times other moms, teachers, leaders and coaches have commented on what an exceptionally great kid I have while looking at me and tilting their heads a little and looking a little surprized. Because, if you know me, really know me, I'm kinda a trainwreck. I'm creative (a good thing usually), chronically ill, somewhat disorganized, a little messy and definitely emotional. How I managed to be one of the longest married, grad school educated, PTA board nominated, children adoring (to the dismay of my furniture) real, true blue, died in the wool, appreciate every day, died in the wool, made to be a mom, I will never know...really. Except two things, the gospel and family time (including family dinner). I will explore this but first a couple funny examples of the shock I have witnessed at my ability to be a good mom over the years.


1. 1999 with my sisters at Trolley Square: I have 3 sisters and we had just lunched together with our toddlers. My youngest sisters jaw dropped to the floor when I refused to let toddler Jade ride unrestrained in the back of my sister's beemer suv unrestrained.

2. 2001 my mother-in-law, a former principal, tells me I'm just a great mom. This time my jaw was on the ground, she has witnessed my organization skills.

3. 2003 Jade's kindergarten teacher, the beloved Jill Chambers, calls me super-mom, even though I cannot manage to get the right materials for each child into their Tuesday folder.

4. Always my husband and I who are very different, and debate lots, defers to me usually when it comes to Jade. I still cannot believe this twelve years later.

5. I have one child but was unable to allow myself to purchase an SUV without the "third" seat, and we use it often. You would not believe the caliber of moms that have allowed my to transport their precious cargo...it's perplexing, even to me.

6. Anything I cannot bring myself to do (like take care of myself) for me, I can do for a child's sake, especially mine.

7. I cried last night because Jade could not have a certain snack because it was not chilled, I had left it accidentally in the bag, on the counter. Typical for me.

Anyway, I became a mom, the original plan was to be a business tycoon, my Dad and I even discussed how Dar would be the more present parent, while I entertained clients at dinners. I went to MBA school, then suddenly inexplicably left it, built a home in Layton, embraced the gospel more than ever and got blessed with Jade.

Long before Stouffer's said so, I heard about a study about family dinners and how great they were, I was very impressed. I am an even bigger believer in family prayer, meetings, scripture study and prayer. But say a little prayer for me because the rules have changed. Now that I have a tween, being a good mom means being at the ready (cell phone cannot be off or lost or not charged). Having an always picked up home helps a lot, organization is job one ( if you miss a beat, you lose their trust and confidence). And you can never get away with being a "bum" for a couple days because you are really sick, had a really bad day pain-wise, and just don't feel like doing your hair and making the bed. Your daughter, my daughter Jade, needs THAT kind of mom now. I have to be an example and invoke confidence. HEAVEN HELP ME!!!! But, I was a really neat kid before my parent's divorce, everything was in place. I can do it. I can do it for her, because she is great, and deserves a good mom at every stage. Just don't mention boys or junior high or heaven forbid college and marriage or I will cry because I miss her already.

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